Redeemed

I think the meaning of names is very interesting. I don't think they declare to the world your personality or your innate characteristics, but I think it is fun to hear what they mean. God can use anything, even our names, to teach us about Himself.

When I have looked up my name in the past I always turned my nose up a little. Wendy - wanderer. How boring. Who wants to be known as a wanderer? A wonder maybe, but not a wanderer. One day at a Bible Study someone had a name book and as we would introduce ourselves she would tell us the meaning of our names. In this book my name meant "Redeemed." Now that I could get on board with. Because I truly have been redeemed. I was a wanderer, lost in my sin and my legalism, always trying to be "good enough" for God. Always striving in my very mixed up way to prove that I was "good enough" to even be saved. When I think back to the couple of years when I first realized I could NEVER be good enough and it was only by His grace that I could be saved (Ephesians 2:8-9) I felt freedom from wandering and began to realize even just a little bit of His redeeming love. Jesus was enough. What He did was enough. I did not have to DO anything else.

These past couple of weeks so much of my sin has been evident to me. I don't like that. It is so easy to dismiss it as stress, or hormones, or things that other people are doing to you. But it is sin and at this point in my Christian journey I know there is no point in trying to justify it. I would love to, but I can't.

I am so thankful that is not the end though. So many times I get to the point to where I am sick of my sin and sick of my whining about my sin and sick of thinking about my sin and I don't know what to DO next. I repent and then find myself doing it again, the very thing I hate, as Paul says. I was thinking about this Saturday night. What could I DO next? My performance personality and my legalistic sinful flesh always wants to DO something.

Sunday morning at church a speaker was talking about this very thing. What to do next? Here is the prescription for our repeat sins, our fleshly nature.

DO nothing. Just as we cannot DO anything to earn our salvation, we cannot do anything to earn our sanctification. Jesus is enough. He has to DO it.

Romans 1:17 says "...The just shall live by faith."

Faith. Faith that He is enough for my salvation, and faith that He is enough for me in my daily life, with all my daily struggles and small victories and dealings with children and adults, and the pains and the joys of life. He is enough. And He will be until the day I die. He is changing me daily. As I am aware of more and more sin I am also aware of how He has covered that sin. What grace He gives to me ~ the more I know of what I have been redeemed from, the more I can know of my Redeemer. I love that I have been a Christian for so long now. I am not the same person I was all those years ago. He is working on me and in me and being aware of my sin is a wonderful gift. Humbling and painful, but He is showing me more of Himself everyday.

Does this mean I cannot choose not to sin or I have no responsibity for my actions. Of course not. My pastor equates the Christian walk with what He calls the 3-Step Waltz. We Repent our our sins, we Believe that Jesus is enough, and we Fight the Good Fight. The Bible is full of commands about how to fight the Good Fight and I want to do those things. He has been so merciful to me I can't but help to want to obey His commands.

But on this day I needed to be reminded again of the Believe Step. Jesus is enough. He has done all the work on the cross. He will change me. His Grace is sufficient for this day.