Tuesday, August 11, 2009


As this is my anniversary week and I have been standing at the kitchen sink cutting and peeling and chopping and whatnot, I have had lots of time to think about being married. Yesterday I was thinking about our first "real" fight as a married couple.

We had been married for two weeks and it was Sunday after church. Internet friends, you can not even imagine my joy as I walked into church as a married woman. Oh, the bliss, to know that when church was over Mark would not be taking me to my parent's home, but to OUR home. Well, everything was dandy until we got in the car after church. Mark proceeds to tell me that he signed us up to be in charge of snacks for the Sunday School class.

I wish I could say I responded with grace and as a good helpmeet would. But I didn't. It was ugly. I went bizark. I'm sure Mark was like, "What in the world?" He remained calm, but I didn't. I cried, I yelled, I ranted. I could not believe that Mark would make such an important decision like Sunday School snacks without consulting me. And just to be clear here, being in charge meant that ALL one of had to do each week was call the next person on the list and remind them to bring the snacks that Sunday. I didn't even have to fix the snacks myself! But I was livid. Now, Mark was used to my moodiness. Bless his heart I would break up with him almost every month when I had PMS and he has told me that after he got the timing figured out he would just wait a couple of days and then I would call him back and apologize and we would be good till the next month. So he was used to the wishy-washiness and the moodiness, but he did not know about the yelling and crying.

Well, we ended up working it out of course and we were good until about two months later when I decided we needed to get up at 4 in the morning and jog together. Never mind that Mark worked a job where he left at 6:30 AM and usually got home around 9 PM that night. A job where he was out in the heat or cold everyday. Never mind that Mark wanted to sleep in when he could and lay around the house and rest when he could. We were married and we were supposed to jog together, didn't he know that?

So, did you have any big fights when you were first married? Or, is it just me and my moodiness that continues to throw everyone for a loop around here?


  1. We had a rough one a few months after we were married. We decided to drive to San Diego to watch fireworks and got stuck in traffic down town. The car started over heating, smoke coming out of the engine in the middle of the crowded streets. I was so embarassed! We parked in a parking garage and called AAA to come rescue us. They said it would be a few hours if they could even get a truck that fit in the parking garage. So Andrew wanted to go and watch fireworks still and I freaked out! I wanted to get the car taken care of and was stressing over how much it would cost to fix it. I totally ruined the night and could have just shut my mouth and watched fireworks since we had to wait for the tow truck anyway. It was so dumb! We ended up walking to see the fireworks and I wouldn't even stand with him, then I dragged us back to the parking garage where we sat for 2 hours waiting. Lame, right?

  2. This is so funny and I can totally relate! My husband is so laid back that I am usually fussing and carrying on all by myself! I think our first fight had to do with him not leaving me a note as to where he and my boys were and I thought surely, they had all been injured, maimed or killed!

    Have a great anniversary!

    Lou Cinda :)

    Thank goodness us high strung women are married to laid back men :)

  3. Yeah. I would be the crazy person at my house (not that I'm saying you are, just that I am). Poor K. He had no idea. It's funny how the years have tempered me, though. Not that I don't still have my moments, but K is so laid back he'll just ask, "Do you really want to do this?" And it totally (most of the time!) convicts me.

  4. Oh Wendy, Jay and I fought nearly everyday for the first year-and-a-half of our marriage. It was literally hell on earth. It is by the grace of God that we didn't kill each other. Gotta love it that we're both so strong-willed.

  5. Oh that is so funny! I loved the Sunday School snacks one! Sounds like something I would have done before... I'm trying to learn to pick and choose my arguments now. I tend to let a lot of stuff go now to try to save the peace, although I'm sure Bobby would disagree with me on that... I still have a ketsup stain on the ceiling from one of our "arguments". I won't go into how that happened though...

  6. We didn't have many huge newlywed fights that I can remember the details of; however, Ryan says that I was depressed the whole summer after we got married.

    I denied it at first, but when I look back on that summer I was acting depressed...I stayed inside all day watching TV and was very reluctant to get our gifts put away, set up our house and write thank you notes.

    It wasn't that I was depressed about being married, I was elated to be a married woman; I was depressed that all the wedding stuff was over!

    During our 6 month engagement I thrived on planning each & every detail, being thrifty with our limited budget, and enjoying all the showers & gifts.

    Never in my life had everything revolved around us (me) like it did during our engagement & wedding...I secretly loved all the attention!

    When the school year started, and I got back into teaching and a normal routine I quickly snapped out of it.

    I would consider our first year and a half of marriage to be wedded bliss...our big fights came after our son was born and that was because we had family that was all up in our business and would not leave us alone :)

  7. I am so sure that we've had ridiculous fights like that that were my fault. Most, ok all, of our fights (we have very few) are my fault. I can't remember them right now but I'm sure they're just as funny as yours!!
    Thankfully, my hubby is as laid-back and great as yours. Aren't we lucky girls?!

  8. LOL! You crack me up.

    And, I must say, that if statistics were available on this sort of thing, I truly believe that over 90% of married-people fights happen on Sundays - darn spiritual warfare.

    We were one of those couples that we lovey-dovey-married from the first moment, but we were in ministry on Sunday mornings (leading worship in Junior High), and something ridiculous would always happen and make us snap at each other on the way to church. Then we'd realize it was spiritual warfare, kiss, and make up and tell the Devil to - well, get lost.

  9. You know, I really can't remember, but I agree with Rachel. I think more fights probably occur on Sunday mornings!

    In our house it isn't us fighting, though. It is dad lecturing the kids while driving to church about why they have to get moving in the mornings, quit picking at their breakfasts, and keep their rooms clean so they don't loose their shoes. (Sigh.)