Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A List Of What I Have Been Thinking About Today....

Not that anyone would be interested, but ya'll...if I don't get it out I might just bust.

1. Peoples. It is time to take the Christmas lights and decorations down. Today as I was driving I saw several houses which were still decorated (and their lights were on in the daytime). I understand life happens, it's been happening a lot around here lately, but at least turn the lights off and drag the inflatables around to the back yard. Whew, I feel better already.

2. Today a cashier at CVS balked at giving me my $7 in Extra Care Bucks that I had just earned by purchasing two Revlon products. I'm not sure why she did not want to do this. I am a strict rule-follower by nature and I don't break the rules. I smiled and was very nice and pleasant, but what I really wanted to say was, "Mam, I have pre-menstrual syndrome right now. And it is bad. And my head hurts. And I just left the OB/GYN where I was classified as a "mature woman" and it might just be in your best interest to just hand over the Extra Care Bucks."

Apparently when she realized I was going to stand there until the manager came back from her lunch break she changed her mind.

3. When I left the hospital I got my little parking ticket punched and exited to the gate. My ticket would not work. Over and over the machine would say, "Your ticket is not valid" or something snarky like that. And there were about five cars behind me. And I was stuck there thinking I was going to have to get out of the van and take my mature self up to that ticket lady who punched my ticket and get it punched again.

Instead I pressed the little button and very sweetly explained to the man in the machine my situation. He opened the gate and told me not to put my ticket next to my cell phone next time. I told him thank you, but I what I really wanted to say was, "Apparently I am a mature woman now so I should have better insurance now and this gate is coming down."

4. I had a doctor's appointment today and as I said before, the doc said I was a mature woman. And by cracky, if he had also mentioned I needed to lose some weight it might have gotten ugly. But fortunately he didn't mention it.

As I was getting dressed I looked through my file. And don't tell me you don't do the same thing. I wanted to see what they had written about James' birth. His birth was a very painful, traumatic, and emotional experience for me and I wanted to see their take on it. They had two lines. His name, gender, and healthy baby status. And then Delivery-Dr. XXXX, and that I had an epidural. And ya'll, I about came undone.

First of all the doctor did not deliver that baby. He wasn't there. And secondly, and most important. I DID NOT HAVE even a Tylenol, much less an epidural. I had nada, zip, nothing. And on top of that I had a bad bad bad mean ole nurse who kept insisting there was no way in the world the baby could be coming right then.

I would like my credit for my un-medicated birth please. In big red letters. With a smiley face beside it.

Sorry if I have burst anyone's idea that I am a sweet southern girl all the time. When I have a touch of the pre-menstrual syndrome it can get pretty crazy in my mind. Those that know me in real life are not surprised at all.


  1. I am not surprised. Girl, you tell that man you want a credit for that fictional epidural that he can put towards your visit when he tells you that your going through "the change" because you just might do some damage to his office.

  2. You had a check-up during PMS? You've got to get better at keeping up with your calendar. Or just ask Mark, I'm sure he knows.
    I am sorry, but I am laughing so hard right now and I know I shouldn't be. I just got over a BAAAAAD case myself, so I should be a little more sympathetic...
    But, to make you feel better, when Schyler was still in the hospital, I made them change the chart-while I stood and watched-to the fact that she was a natural delivery.

  3. Hasn't Mark said you need to let that go? ;-)

  4. Hey, everybody has got to vent sometimes... ;-)

  5. Too funny! Hope that today is better :)

  6. 1. I still have my Christmas lights AND tree up, and it's not just because I'm post-partum. We're having Chris' family Christmas at our house, after Ali's birthday party, on Saturday. Yes, I'm also crazy. But, for the record, that's why our house is still decorated.

    (As if you've driven by our house...)

    3. I had that happen with a parking ticket once. I had to DOUBLE PAY!! I was so angry.

    4. Yes, I would totally want the record in my file too. In fact, that makes me want to check out my file and make sure they put in there "Had a horrific birth with three failing epidurals" - except my doctor's office is too smart - they only have the top sheet of your file in the room with you. I guess they don't want you knowing what they say about you.

  7. My neighbors love their blow up dolls (what we call their seasonal decorations), and believe me, they have a collection for every season.
    Sometimes when it is quiet in the house (rare), I can hear the motor's run-----we hate blow up dolls!
    The coupon--good grief, it wasn't like if was costing HER $7 to let you use your coupon!

  8. WENDY! Oh I just love you! My favorite part? The gate is coming down!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Thank you! I needed that laugh tonight, Mama Hen. Where do I start?

    Yes, YOU deserve credit for that natural childbirth!

    I think you had a rotten day for going through PMS. Any chance you can plan for stay-at-home days at that time of month in the future?

    And, I took our wreath down earlier this week. The Christmas lights on the house and putting everything up into the attic is my husband's department. Nope, not done yet. But it's been a long week already.

  10. Breathe, baby - and get it all out.

  11. Wendy, you make me laugh girl! I'm SO glad I'm not the only one who feels all of that stuff. I LOVE your transparency! I had 2 of my 5 without drugs, and the epiderals with the first 2 didn't work anyway, luckily I finally had one that did work with my 5th which happened to be a c-section! I'm all about getting a smiley for a natural birth! You deserve it!

  12. You should have gotten a pen out of your purse & made all the proper corrections to your chart! You most definitely deserve all the credit for a non medicated birth!

  13. Girl, I totally agree. I think credit should be given to any birth without medication. I have had 2 and yes, I think I deserve a medal. Just saying. I know some will say, just 2, but there is no "just" when we are talking unmedicated births.

    And about the cashier, maybe she was just shocked. She was just thinking "Revlon, girl, Mary Kay is better." Oh, wait, that was just me.

    As always, you keep me rolling. Love ya!