Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Webster vs. MamaHen-The Summer in the South Edition...


Webster-noun. a moderate degree of wetness, especially of the atmosphere.

MamaHen-noun. that which causes you to look like a drowned rat after being outside for only two minutes on a southern summer day. I mean why bother fixing yourself up? After you step outside you will immediately begin to droop and all your makeup will begin to melt. Fix your hair? Ha, Ha. Only rookies do that. Just pull it back in a ponytail. The ponytail will wilt also, but no one will notice because of the little rivets of makeup that are streaming down your face.

Chiggers (aka redbugs)

Webster-noun. a six-legged mite larva (family Trombuiculidae) that sucks the blood of vertebrae and causes intense irritation

MamaHen-noun. little invisible disgusting foul creatures from the Bad Place that make life miserable for anyone who has to go outside for more than five minutes. Heavens forbid that you try to do some weeding or pick your berries that your husband so lovingly planted for you. Or you are a small child who loves to play in the outdoors. Or a big kid who likes to climb a tree on occasion. Chiggers have no respect for anyone. Listen, if you live here in the South and haven't dealt with chiggers yet then I need to question your southern-hood. Now, if we could only work together to find a solution to these nasty terrible beasts and send them back to the Pit where they belong, we could live in harmony together in the outdoors. Well, after we deal with the gnats, mosquitoes, and snakes. But chiggers are first on my list.

Just needed to get that off my mind.


  1. wow. Glad you got that off your chest.

  2. I agree with all your points about summertime in the south. Chiggers and fire ants tie for first place in my book, though.

    At least I chopped off my hair into a low-maintenance do for summer. :)

  3. Chiggers aren't bad at our house, but no-see-ums are horrendous. Maybe we can get them in a battle against each other.

  4. Oh, how could I forget fire ants! And the no-see-ums. Hmmm, this just keeps getting worse and worse.

  5. Preach it sista! You should write a whole dictionary. Lisa~

  6. I don't ever remember having a run-in with chiggers (but that may be because I try to never go outside in the extreme heat). BUT don't question my Southernhood because the SECOND I step outside my hair becomes the biggest bunch of pouf you've ever seen. And we all know that nothing says Southern like big hair!

  7. It's humid here today, BUT, it's 68f and humid- big difference, from what you experience.

    We don't have chiggers, fireants or no-see-ums... We hardly have any bugs at all, some people don't even have window screens. Most folks don't have air conditioning, it's not worth having for a week a year. The eastern side of the state is different, there are bugs there and most folks have air conditioning-

    We do have many more cooler,grey days; some of which are rainy... That's the trade off for no bugs!

  8. Chiggers give the absolute worst itch a person could have. They are such terrible creatures!!

  9. These definitions are right on target about our humidity and chiggers! And I'm with Mrs. Jennifer above that no-see-ums are horrible too.