Workin For A Living

Saturday the men in my family (well, the men above the age of three) had a big work day. Our garden had gotten a little away from us with all the rain the past two weeks. It looked just like grass with a few plants sticking up out of it. So Mark and the big boys worked hard for a couple of hours getting things back under control.

Later in the afternoon they had time for some fun also. Some of my favorite times is sitting on my swing with Mark and watching our children play. I think we have some of our best talks with them when we are all in the yard together.

I'm not sure where Abbie was when we were taking these pics. But I wanted to show you what she did the other day. She made this arraignment for me to go on our buffet table. We have a beautiful gardenia bush right next to our back door. They smell sooo good.

Our children have lots of time for fun and play. But it is very important for children to work too. I think one of the worst things we can do for our children is to give them an entitlement mentality. They receive a very small allowance for their work in their rooms and the house zones. Sometimes if Mark has a very big outside job he needs help with or wants the boys to do he will pay them a little extra. Sometimes they just do it because it needs to be done. If they are saving up for something they will ask for extra jobs to earn some money.

At our house our children are taught that we are a family and we work together. They are not perfect at this and I have one in particular that complains and whines quite a bit. This child is expected to work anyway and we are working on the "doing everything without complaining and arguing." And this has not happened overnight. I have a 12, 10, 8, and 3 year old. Thursday was the first time I called a Domestic Day and at the end of the day the house looked lots better. We all worked together and it was wonderful to tell a child, " Please go vacuum" and it was done correctly. It is really only in the past two years I have made a concentrated effort to train the children in particular jobs.

Two summers ago a friend from church had to have surgery which required her to be off her feet for about six weeks. I went to her house with a meal and the promise to do any cleaning she needed. I had James with me (he was around one) because the lady had a 12 year old daughter and I thought she would be able to watch him while I cleaned. When I asked the daughter if she would play with him while I cleaned she replied she couldn't because she was playing with her dog and she needed to take care of the dog. It took me back so much I'm sure the shock must have showed on my face. First of all I could not fathom a young lady choosing a dog over a baby, and secondly I could not believe the mom did not make her help me. I cleaned the woman's house for several hours with a baby on my hip or at my feet. I do not begrudge the cleaning at all. People have had to come and clean for me when I had three very littles and I was really having a very hard time. My house is farrrrrrr from perfect and I would "just die" if someone came in now and saw my dirty floors. I want you to understand this lady is one of my friends and I was not resentful about the cleaning. I was just flabbergasted that my friend told me her daughter did not know how to vacuum.

I came home that day determined my children were going to have to learn to do the basics around the house. Not because I want little servants all around me that I can boss around. But because we are a family and we need each other. I really want to turn things around here in my home where it can be a welcoming relaxing place and not just at the end of our domestic days. I know this will not happen quickly and I have much to work on myself. I am the queen of starting, but not finishing. I have great intentions, but not much discipline. We have come a long way, and still have a ways to go, but it is worth it. I saw the fruit of our labors Thursday and it was encouraging.