Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Workin For A Living

Saturday the men in my family (well, the men above the age of three) had a big work day. Our garden had gotten a little away from us with all the rain the past two weeks. It looked just like grass with a few plants sticking up out of it. So Mark and the big boys worked hard for a couple of hours getting things back under control.




Later in the afternoon they had time for some fun also. Some of my favorite times is sitting on my swing with Mark and watching our children play. I think we have some of our best talks with them when we are all in the yard together.


I'm not sure where Abbie was when we were taking these pics. But I wanted to show you what she did the other day. She made this arraignment for me to go on our buffet table. We have a beautiful gardenia bush right next to our back door. They smell sooo good.


Our children have lots of time for fun and play. But it is very important for children to work too. I think one of the worst things we can do for our children is to give them an entitlement mentality. They receive a very small allowance for their work in their rooms and the house zones. Sometimes if Mark has a very big outside job he needs help with or wants the boys to do he will pay them a little extra. Sometimes they just do it because it needs to be done. If they are saving up for something they will ask for extra jobs to earn some money.

At our house our children are taught that we are a family and we work together. They are not perfect at this and I have one in particular that complains and whines quite a bit. This child is expected to work anyway and we are working on the "doing everything without complaining and arguing." And this has not happened overnight. I have a 12, 10, 8, and 3 year old. Thursday was the first time I called a Domestic Day and at the end of the day the house looked lots better. We all worked together and it was wonderful to tell a child, " Please go vacuum" and it was done correctly. It is really only in the past two years I have made a concentrated effort to train the children in particular jobs.

Two summers ago a friend from church had to have surgery which required her to be off her feet for about six weeks. I went to her house with a meal and the promise to do any cleaning she needed. I had James with me (he was around one) because the lady had a 12 year old daughter and I thought she would be able to watch him while I cleaned. When I asked the daughter if she would play with him while I cleaned she replied she couldn't because she was playing with her dog and she needed to take care of the dog. It took me back so much I'm sure the shock must have showed on my face. First of all I could not fathom a young lady choosing a dog over a baby, and secondly I could not believe the mom did not make her help me. I cleaned the woman's house for several hours with a baby on my hip or at my feet. I do not begrudge the cleaning at all. People have had to come and clean for me when I had three very littles and I was really having a very hard time. My house is farrrrrrr from perfect and I would "just die" if someone came in now and saw my dirty floors. I want you to understand this lady is one of my friends and I was not resentful about the cleaning. I was just flabbergasted that my friend told me her daughter did not know how to vacuum.

I came home that day determined my children were going to have to learn to do the basics around the house. Not because I want little servants all around me that I can boss around. But because we are a family and we need each other. I really want to turn things around here in my home where it can be a welcoming relaxing place and not just at the end of our domestic days. I know this will not happen quickly and I have much to work on myself. I am the queen of starting, but not finishing. I have great intentions, but not much discipline. We have come a long way, and still have a ways to go, but it is worth it. I saw the fruit of our labors Thursday and it was encouraging.

12 comments:

  1. I would love any chore-tips you may have! Any parenting advice in general I am usually happy to receive since I am so much of an amateur! The girls do their beds, teeth, pick up the living and play rooms and have a good attitude. The bed-making is where we've been running into issues. Chloe is fully capable, Ava needs quite a bit of help so I usually have Chloe do her own bed and help with ava's- this does not go over well. Ava either won't help at all so Chloe won't help her, or Ava wants to but Chloe won't. I can help Ava but I usually use this time they're doing chores to get myself and Silas ready for the day....any suggestions? we do a sticker for each chore and at the end of the week if both their charts are pretty full we do something special as a family, ice cream, or a movie night or let them pick a small toy out (i convinced them to replace their dried out playdough last week....) :)

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  2. ps. sorry for the novel! you can email me if you want talesofasoccermom@gmail.com

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  3. Nothing wrong with kiddos doing work around the house!

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  4. Put on the music and work.

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  5. I SOOOOOOOOOOOOO agree with this post. And I'm routinely flabbergasted at what kids can't do these days.

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  6. You go girl!

    And yah to all your sweet children and all their hard work! They are a blessing!

    And the gardenias are beautiful! We had a gardenia bush when I was growing up, and Mother would put a bowl of them on the table. So beautiful and pleasant!

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  7. Such words of wisdom on raising children. I have several friends that are moms and they feel so overwhelmed.When you visit their homes and see how they wait on their children (even TEENS) hand and foot you learn why.

    A twelve year old that can't vacuum (or any other similar chore)?! That's so sad for a couple of reasons, not only is the child not a contributing member of the family and therefore does not get the self esteem and confidence boost from being a part of the family and it's success, they are being handicapped in their abiltiy to handle life when they get out on their own (if they ever leave home)

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  8. I love this post and love seeing your heart and practicality on the work your chickies can do. Mine are 8 and 6 and there are times I feel like we are doing really well and times when my perfectionist tendencies do not allow me to allow them the privilege of doing household chores. They do a GREAT job at making their beds, cleaning their rooms, clearing and setting the table and one chickie loves to dust and wipe things down. One thing I know is that it is up to me to teach them and they are usually really good about doing what I ask and even doing it cheerfully. It's just that I don't require it of them. Thanks for the reminder this morning that teaching them is part of my job!

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  9. What a blessing - and all the rewards that will be not only yours but theirs for years to come will be innumerable! I LOVE Abbie's arrangement:)

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  10. The gardenia arrangement is beautiful, Abbie did a great job!

    I'm big on the kids working and helping out too, Luke already helps me unload the dishwasher and wipe up his table area after meals.

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  11. Amen sister! Preach it! I'm right there with you, Wendy! God's really been dealing with me about training my children to do the job right, they're best, with a good attitude. It's hard, but I know the results will be worth it!

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