Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Add it to the list...

Do any of you have a running list of all things you never thought you would say as a parent? I do and I got to add a new one yesterday.

Child Fuss and Child Fight came in both mad as hornets arguing about something. They both wanted me to say that they were in the right. I listened as one cried and pleaded their case. Then I listened as the other almost cried and pleaded their case. The tension in the air was thick. As they both told their version of the story my eyes began to open widely (and wildly, I might add), in disbelief over what they were arguing over.

This proceeded out of my mouth, "Do you two realize you are arguing over a dead chicken?!!!!"

And it was a long-dead chicken at that.

And then I realized in all my mommy dreams of sweet little toddlers and babies running around (somehow I never got past that stage in my dreams), I never thought I would say THAT.

What are some of the weirdest mommy words you have ever said?


  1. Oh, it's a very very long list, as you might imagine.

  2. I had to say, "Don't eat the couch" once;)

  3. "Please use your fork to eat your mashed potatoes," spoken to preschoolers using their fingers.

    I know there are funnier ones, but in my current sleep-deprived state, I'm drawing a blank.

  4. This morning I awoke to my husband saying, "Quit arguing over whether or not you're eating toast," as the boys ate toasted English muffins. Luke called it toast, but Jack insisted it was an English muffin. My famous line has become, "Is this going to matter in heaven?"

  5. Well it isn't a funny line (a dead chicken? I feel like there is a story there that needs to be told!) but lately the one thing I keep asking my oldest child is this: Did you give birth to your sister? No? Then you need to stop parenting her.