Sunday, November 6, 2011

I Am...

You know how all those people are occupying (fill in the blank) and holding up all those signs saying they are in the (fill in the blank) percent?

Well, I MamaHen, have a sign to hold up. But I am too lazy to get paper and pen, write it out, and then take a picture. And I don't have my makeup on yet. So definitely no picture.

Here is my sign:

Way back in January I had to go to Brookwood Hospital for a doc visit. You can read about my parking lot experience here.

Well, evidently the Brookwood parking lot and I don't get along too well.

I left the doctor a little shaky. I had to have some tests, and the doc is almost 100% sure everything is fine, but I was still a little unnerved. I paid my parking ticket before you left the hospital (per instructions). But, my ticket wouldn't print. The computer kept reading Failure to Print, Failure to Print, Failure to Print.

Even though the parking lot "Ambassador" was standing right there viewing the whole scene I still had to ask her to help. She got my last name, called someone and told them a Clark was coming to the Green Exit and that I had paid and to let me out manually.

So, I shakily proceed to my car, call my mom and begin to discuss with her what the doctor said. I guess I got a little distracted because I went to the Yellow Exit. Listen, if you haven't been in the Brookwood Hospital parking lot, don't judge.

So, I went to the Yellow Exit, pulled up to the kiosk-thingy, and of course there was not a person in the Yellow Exit.

Anybody want to guess how many people were backed up behind me?

So, I was the .000001% that had to get out of my mini-van and do some sign/body language to indicate that all those cars were going to have to back up because I was the dummy who didn't have a ticket.

And so they all backed up. Backed up just enough so that my three-point turn to get out of my predictiment turned into about a ten-point turn and the guy sitting in his car watching the whole thing got a very good laugh.

Did I mention I was already shaky?

I made my way to the Green Exit and was able to get out.

I think I am going to have to change doctors simply because of the parking lot.

Is anyone else in this small percent that has had to do this? Let yourselves be known.


  1. I haven't had this happen to me because I have never been to Brookwood. For anything. As a matter of fact, I *would* change my doctor over something like that. Or find a friend to drive me when I had to have tests done. Seriously. I hope you can find someone to drive you next time--or switch doctors!

  2. Michelle, pretty much all of this was written tongue-in-cheek. I'm not going to change doctors, especially ones I have had for 12 years over the fact that I got lost in the parking lot. I have been going there for 12 years and its pretty much my fault if I get mixed up.

    I was shaky when I left and I'm sure that had something to do with the fact that I went to the wrong exit, and in the post I was sorta telling on myself and my silliness rather than Brookwood Hospital.

  3. Please let me be clear to everyone who reads this post. It has NOTHING to do with the parking garage! This problem goes WAY back. Way back to a day when she was 16 and I was 15 and one little attendant at the airport parking garage had his life changed forever...

  4. I am Ticia, and I am also part of that .0000001% who can get lost in a parking garage or some other ridiculous area. This has given my husband many many laughs.

  5. Oh you POOR THING!!

    Yes, that happened to me, too. Kinda. I paid for my ticket inside, but then the outside machine refused to read it. So I paid AGAIN so that I didn't have to do a ten point turn.

    I despise Brookwood's parking deck with all that I have within me.