Tuesday, June 25, 2013

A New Workout Regimen (Just For You!)

This morning I want to offer you a new workout routine that will be beneficial to you and to others.  It is called,

The Morning Glory Eradication Workout Program, or TMGEWP for short.

It is good for you, for your local farmer, for the local chickens, and for the environment. 

Who could ask for anything more?

A few easy steps:

1.  Drive to my house.
2.  Begin pulling morning glories from my garden.  Don't question how they grew overnight or where they all come from.  It will only make your brain hurt and you are here to work the body, not your mind.
3.  Squat.
4.  Grab, Twist, and Pull.
5.  Stand up and stretch your back.
6.  Squat.
7.  Grab, Twist, and Pull.
8.  Stand up and stretch your back.
9.  Wipe sweat from your brow.

Continue on with this for several rows until your thighs feel like jelly and your lower back starts to spasm.

You are allowed to curse the morning glory all you want as you go.  And be sure to grab those little sticker bushes and pull them too.  As the stickers puncture your fingers your upper body will get a good workout because you will jerk back and be amazed again at how a little thorn could hurt so much.

Take your bucket to the chickens and stand and watch them scratch and peck at this unexpected treat.

Go back and do a few more rows.

The next morning you will be aware of muscles you did not know existed.  Put that hair back up into a ponytail, put on your old clothes, and head to my house, because you get to do it all over again.

Just leave a comment and I'll send you my address.

1 comment:

  1. HILARIOUS!!!!!!!
    Of all workout programs, I love one with "morning glory" in the name!!!!!
    And did you get a puppy?????